Five Minute Friday: Grief, Guilt and a Heavy Heart
Today’s Five Minute Friday prompt is Five.
My birthday is Sunday and I just don’t feel like celebrating.
Setting the timer to rewrite for five minutes:
A few weeks ago, the prompt was take and I wrote a post called Take 5.
My focus was on taking 5 minutes for self -care or taking 5 minutes to show care for someone else. This week I have been having a hard time writing.
Heck I have had a hard time just thinking clearly. I am bogged down with a word that has 5 letters. The word is grief. We had a sudden unexpected tragic loss in our family on Saturday of last week. It is not my story to tell about, but I can tell you that it has triggered a lot of emotion for me and at times numbness. I know that there are family members who are suffering a greater loss than I am though so this should not be about me.
I am struggling to know what I can do to help those family members who were closer to the lost loved one than I am. I am struggling with guilt, whether justified or not. I feel guilty that being someone who has studied the mental health and children’s services field in college that I have no answers. I feel guilty that I could not have done something or said something to prevent the tragedy.
Guilt another five- letter word. I wrote about that not long ago too. Heart is another five -letter word and my heart is heavy, broken and yet full of love. Heavy another five -letter word. Everything feels so heavy, the air with the summer humidity and the feelings and emotions in my head.
It feels hard to breathe. My body and mind are so tired (5 letters again!).
I have a feeling this is going to look like just a jumble of rambling to you so I will stop here as the timer just rang. Sadly, there is no timer on grief and no off button for the mind or feelings.
Five Letter Words
Weeks, Wrote, Focus, Grief, Loved, About, Story, Guilt, Could, Heart, Heavy, Tired, Timer, Sadly