Five Minute Friday: Grief, Guilt and a Heavy Heart
Five:
Today’s Five Minute Friday prompt is Five.
Five Minute Friday is celebrating its 5th birthday.
My birthday is Sunday and I just don’t feel like celebrating.
Setting the timer to rewrite for five minutes:
Start:
A few weeks ago, the prompt was take and I wrote a post called Take 5.
My focus was on taking 5 minutes for self -care or taking 5 minutes to show care for someone else. This week I have been having a hard time writing.
Heck I have had a hard time just thinking clearly. I am bogged down with a word that has 5 letters. The word is grief. We had a sudden unexpected tragic loss in our family on Saturday of last week. It is not my story to tell about, but I can tell you that it has triggered a lot of emotion for me and at times numbness. I know that there are family members who are suffering a greater loss than I am though so this should not be about me.
I am struggling to know what I can do to help those family members who were closer to the lost loved one than I am. I am struggling with guilt, whether justified or not. I feel guilty that being someone who has studied the mental health and children’s services field in college that I have no answers. I feel guilty that I could not have done something or said something to prevent the tragedy.
Guilt another five- letter word. I wrote about that not long ago too. Heart is another five -letter word and my heart is heavy, broken and yet full of love. Heavy another five -letter word. Everything feels so heavy, the air with the summer humidity and the feelings and emotions in my head.
Birch tree bent in the winter from the weight of the snow
It feels hard to breathe. My body and mind are so tired (5 letters again!).
I have a feeling this is going to look like just a jumble of rambling to you so I will stop here as the timer just rang. Sadly, there is no timer on grief and no off button for the mind or feelings.
Stop:
Prompt: Five
Five Letter Words
Weeks, Wrote, Focus, Grief, Loved, About, Story, Guilt, Could, Heart, Heavy, Tired, Timer, Sadly
Good morning, I am lifting you up in prayer as I type. I am asking Jesus to be the source of comfort and cleansing for all. I am thankful for your sharing so that we may lift you and those closer to the tragedy up to heaven. In Christ, Julie
So sorry to read about this tragic event that has brought sorrow to many. May God give you comfort and peace of mind. When we don’t have answers just being present with those that mourn can help. Taking a few minutes to pray.
Praying for you. It may not be your loss to describe, but it’s your grief to feel.
You inspired a poem. I hope you like it.
And now there is the tipping point;
I cannot kill what’s killing me,
nor the rushing fate disjoint,
nor wish away malignancy.
But there is beauty in the breeze,
cherry blossoms on the wind,
and a certain bright surcease
to that which the dark portend.
I need not grieve the days now lost,
for though unborn, they do yet live
within my heart, and at the cost
to a Saviour with so much to give.
He saves our tears, and the joys ahead,
for nothing good is truly dead.
#1 at FMF this week.
https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2019/08/your-dying-spouse-653-sense-of-what-fmf.html
I am thinking about you. I know how difficult it is right now x
I pray for you to have peace (a five letter word) that only God gives. I am sorry (5 letters) for your loss and the grief you must bear. Bless (5 letters, too ????)you.
Thank you so much~
Sadly, there is no off button for heavy emotions. You have nothing to feel guilty about and sometimes there’s not much you can really do, just be there for your family when they need you. Losing a member of our family has thought me to always try to have a good relationship with other members and value our time together.
Short but sweet. I know the ache of grief and I’m sorry you went through this. These prompt are like some I took part in years ago when I started blogging, when linkups were still encouraged. I’m sure all these words can be used right now in this weird time of need, while are are all in quarantine.