Seeking Serenity and Harmony: Joining The Declutter Your Scariest Space Challenge

Declutterring is Scary

One day not long ago I was cleaning out my hard drive and organizing things into the appropriate file folders. I came across a letter I had written to myself about the serenity and harmony that I have found and want more of.  This I assume is from an exercise in one of the self-improvement workshops I was taking.

Dear Self,

You have vented how you have a continual struggle with finishing your goal of cleaning out your excess belongings and full storage facilities. You CAN do this. Don’t give up. You have the goal and now you just need to keep focusing on not losing the willpower to complete the job to succeed in your goal.

Despite what many think willpower is not limited. In fact, those that know willpower is not limited achieve and succeed much more than folks who think there is a limit to their willpower.

Often, they take excess breaks and give up on reaching goals end. You can succeed. Do not give in to the temptation to give up or the feeling that you can’t do this. You can, you have the power. Dig deep inside and tell yourself you can do this.

When you acknowledge and learn that willpower is not unlimited you can achieve and gain so much more in your life. Start now with this one goal. You have the will power there is no end to it.

You may get tired but that does not mean the will power is gone. When you get discouraged the will power is still there you just have to try a little harder and dig a little deeper to get back in touch with it.

Take for example my experience with college. I started my degree upon becoming a single parent in 1993. I left in 1995. In 2000 I went back and only lasted a few semesters feeling ” I can’t do this”.

In the early part of 2014 I decided I was not going to give up on the dream and I was going to find the willpower. I took no semesters off and walked across the stage in May 2016. Don’t give up on your goals or dreams!

The feeling when you succeed at something you have been struggling with is indescribable.

You can do this. I have faith in you.

From, Me

Another Glimpse Into My Journey

Reading this this morning is a reminder of how long I have been struggling with the same issues.  During the worst of my depression struggle I started having a much harder time parting with physical stuff.

I had a big moving sale and even left stuff out for free when I made a big move in 2001 with 3 of my children. Yet I still had a full-size house and a garage that seemed full of stuff. Then I helped my oldest child move and put some of her stuff in my storage and got engaged and my fiancée moved in and we moved his stuff in.

A few months later we found out we were expecting our first child together. In January when we went to the ER thinking I was miscarrying we found out we were expecting TWO babies.

This led to a bedrest. Stuff continued to collect and pile up. Later, I took to trying to sell what I could online. Of course, this also made it easy to shop online. No matter how many yard sales or donation bags I took away it never seemed to get manageable.

In 2014 we took a leap of faith and moved to a much more rural area where we had the yard and acreage we had always dreamed of and talked about. It reminded us of our favorite vacation spot.

I was back in college; we homeschooled the twins for the first year after moving. I was busy. Stuff continued to pile up.  I rented space in a local antique and flea market building. We rented tables at a few yard sales.  Stuff seemed to keep breeding.

I Swear It Is Like Stuff Breeds Amongst Itself

I’m not a shopper really, but stuff kept piling up. However, I kept thinking I needed to find a way to make money from home and selling items we didn’t want to keep seemed a way to do it. This made it way too easy to hang on to more and more stuff thinking I could make a buck when I was making more stress than money.

At one point when I was having a desire to do some creative writing, I started a story called “Wabbits Big Mess”.  I wish I still had that writing piece, but it was lost a long with some family photos when a laptop hard drive died.

My husband and I had started with health issues and it was a wakeup call to me that I don’t want to leave all this mess for our six children and three grandchildren to have to deal with if something should happen sooner rather than later.

From Nov 2017 through Aug 2018 I had 4 different surgeries. I hated being laid up. I had so much I wanted to get done. Last fall as I started to get back to feeling a bit more functional I set a goal.

Goal: Conquer My Struggle With Stuff

My goal was to shock the heck out of my kids when the four oldest arrived for a visit on December 24th. Well I missed that deadline. Then I shot for our next family gathering Easter. Well that was two days ago, and I have made a dent, but it is not what I wanted them to see.

Maybe I am looking for some approval from them too, I want them to be SHOCKED. That means I have a major challenge ahead of me. Apparently, the only way I can motivate myself further is to find someone to be accountable to. I am hoping this is it and that I am back on the motivation and willpower wagon.

So, you can see the struggle with stuff has been a long struggle for me. It has also gone along with the mental health struggle of depression and anxiety.

It also goes along with my food and weight issues of eating to feel better. Then I was diagnosed with Celiac and colitis and that took a weird twist in the struggle with food.

Stumbling upon this old letter to myself this morning was timely for one reason. Ultimate Bundles is getting ready to release a homemaking bundle. To get ready for this there is a Declutter Your Scariest Space Challenge.

I take this as a big sign that I need to light a fire under my butt and join in. This means I am opening myself up by having to post pictures of my worst messy spaces for everyone to see.

No pretending to be something I am not. Though I am not an organized person, I wish I was.

In all honesty I admit that I definitely have been a pack rat boardering on hoarding. I am excited and a bit motivated to find the willpower to complete this.

Though I can’t wait to post pictures of my after showing how much I cleaned out and how much happier my clean space will make me feel. I dread showing you the reality of before, the pictures of my scariest spaces.

Wabbits Big Emotional Mess

While I was perusing through old files on my laptop I found some coloring pages I had to do for an art class in college. These are representative of me in my depressed state and in my feeling better state.

I read a few articles about willpower to motivate me. If you want to read more about willpower there are a few great articles here. There is another great one from Livelikepros.com 

https://livelikepros.com/definite-guide-to-increasing-willpower-and-discipline/

Stay tuned for humiliating images of my biggest messes and after that inspiring photos of my success at conquering the mess.