I Finally Found Myself: The Importance of Self Care

The Importance of Self Care

It’s easy to put yourself last—juggling responsibilities, meeting deadlines, and taking care of others while neglecting your own well-being. But self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity for maintaining physical health, mental clarity, and emotional balance. Read a personal experience in this guest post by Linda Vande Voort

My Story

I finally found myself this past year. I was a teacher for 25 years in special education. Nonetheless, it was all I ever wanted to do. I put my heart and soul into my work to help those with disabilities get an education and have an equal opportunity to be strong, capable citizens. I was married in 2002 because I didn’t think anyone else would love me.

I became a mom in 2005, having twin boys, and then in 2007, having a girl. All I ever wanted to do was be a mom. I’ve always been a kind and caring person and I’m proud of that because it’s a trait my late mother left me before she passed away when I was young. So, for 7 years I had it all.

Or so I thought.

My Story Continued

In 2012 my life came to a screeching halt when I was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts due to extreme depression. I was forced to leave my career, and my husband was left to tend to our three little children. Over the next 12 years, I struggled to find myself as I wandered through the days and wished my life was better. I cooked processed food and left housekeeping to my husband, who tried to give the children a good life despite massive financial difficulties.

I took a job as an associate in an auto parts supplier shortly after the pandemic. During the time of my depression, I gained a hundred pounds, developed diabetes, and intermittently went to church because it was the right thing to do; even though my heart wasn’t present. I had moods that went up and down quicker than an elevator. I was not happy and every day seemed to blend. My twins are now young adults, and my daughter is a teenager still in high school.

I can’t change the past but 2024 changed me. My shift at the auto parts supplier ended in January and I became unemployed. My husband and daughter rescued a dog from animal control. After years of antidepressants, antianxiety medications, and consistent therapy, I am in a good place where I prioritize my self-care.

Do I have guilt and regret for the experiences I had that took me away from three very important roles? Absolutely. But I am now better able to cope and I realize that I can’t change the past. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with remorse for what I could have done because I realized that I am not in control of my life’s journey.

The Importance of Self Care

For me, self-care is implementing habits and routines to better my physical, spiritual, and mental wellness. For me, self-care is walking 3 miles every day with the dog. Self-care is setting goals each week prioritizing me.

My story is not unique. I know there are hundreds of middle-aged women who share my story.

The Importance Of Self Care

Somewhere between juggling careers, managing households, and serving as the emotional backbone for their families, many middle-aged women lose sight of an essential priority—themselves. Day after day, they put the needs of others first, often at the expense of their own well-being. It’s a silent yet pervasive issue, deeply ingrained in societal expectations and personal conditioning.

Skipping meals, postponing medical checkups, sacrificing sleep, and giving up hobbies once loved—these sacrifices become second nature. While this selflessness might seem noble, the long-term consequences are anything but. Neglecting self-care can lead to chronic stress, burnout, physical health issues, and a deep sense of disconnection from one’s own identity.

For many, the cultural ideal of ‘doing it all’ becomes an overwhelming burden. Society applauds women for being tireless caregivers and dependable problem-solvers but rarely acknowledges the personal toll this role takes. Instead, there’s an unspoken pressure to keep going, to keep giving, even when the tank is empty.

This stage of life often brings unique challenges: career transitions, aging parents, growing children, and personal health concerns. Yet, amidst all this, the idea of prioritizing their own needs feels, to many women, like a selfish luxury they can’t afford. Why is it that so many middle-aged women feel guilty for simply taking care of themselves?

It’s time to change this narrative and recognize that self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

Here are a few practical steps to start:

Schedule time for yourself: Treat self-care like any other non-negotiable appointment. Block time on your calendar for rest, hobbies, or wellness activities.

Learn to say no: It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your needs without guilt. Saying no to others often means saying yes to yourself.

Ask for support: Whether it’s delegating tasks at work or home or simply sharing your struggles with a trusted friend or therapist, remember that you don’t have to carry the load alone.

Reconnect with your passions: Revisit hobbies or activities that once brought you joy, and make them a regular part of your life again.

Focus on small, consistent changes: Even 15 minutes of mindfulness, exercise, or reading a day can make a significant impact over time.

The truth is, taking care of yourself isn’t just beneficial for you—it’s essential for everyone who depends on you. When you prioritize your well-being, you’re better equipped to meet the demands of life and support those you love.

Let’s start a movement where middle-aged women feel empowered to put themselves first without guilt or judgment. Because self-care isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation of a healthier, happier life.

15 Ways Women Sabotage Self-Care

What steps will you take today to prioritize your self-care?